Post-Sunday Thoughts

I write this from my small, yet nice, motel room in Tanzania. Brittany is just a three to five minute walk away. We are near the city of Dar es Salaam. Things have been weird since Sunday. I’ve hand-washed my clothes (with some good help), played with orphans, watched some movies (bits and pieces, at least), flown in a plane, seen both Mt. Kilimanjaro and the Indian Ocean (both firsts), and lost my phone (and gotten a new one). I’ve also had a radio interview with CNN. As I told him, in one respect nothing will change, while in another everything will be different. Life has gone on and will continue to. I am still on a mission to preach the Gospel (as are all Christians). However, I have a renewed sense of purpose, a new attitude, and a new perspective. I have a new story to tell. And yet, it is also the same story I have been telling all along: the Lord is faithful. That has been my testimony up to this point and will be now as well. On Sunday morning I gave a word of encouragement to some boys at a boarding school, saying, “Trust in the Lord. He is faithful.” I referred to Psalm 37 (although I accidentally blended it with Proverbs 3), and the pastor then used his message to expound upon this truth. I will urge you as well… trust in the Lord. All the time. With all your heart. Don’t lean on your own understanding. Commit your way to Him. Trust in Him and He will act. Rest in His sovereignty.

He is sovereign over all and even manifested His control on my flights from Uganda to Tanzania. On the first flight (to Nairobi) I sat near a woman and her family who had also been on my flight from Nairobi into Uganda just over a week before. I shared what had happened with her, and she asked if she could use my story as she shared on her mission trip in Kenya that week. She said she had been kind of nervous and unsure of what she would say, but that she now had a story. On my second flight, I sat next to a guy named Ken. After talking with him some and sharing my experience, he opened up a to me a little bit, saying that five years ago, he had been the sole survivor of a car accident in which four or five others had been killed. His immediate question upon hearing my story had been, “Why did God not save the others?”, and it now made sense why.

And that is the question. Why did He protect us so miraculously while letting other people, believers and non-believers alike, die? When speaking with the first woman, the Lord gave me a truth that I was able to share with her as we parted: God is not faithful because He protected us; He protected us because He is faithful. His faithfulness is the constant. His will always prevails, and it is different at different times, but this too is the will of the Lord. His faithfulness does not depend on our safety. Had any of us been injured or killed, the Lord would still have been faithful. From our earthly perspective, it may not always make sense. It does now – there was a bomb, and God faithfully protected us from harm. But it isn’t always obvious like that. It isn’t always “happy.” But His ways are higher than our ways, and we can rest in His Word, that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. The “good” does not always look the same, even bad at times. But we know that to live is Christ and to die is gain (Catherine’s status on Facebook during the attack). God’s children are in a win-win scenario. In Genesis 50, Joseph spoke to his brothers who had acted against him, saying, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” So to the families of those who lost loved ones in the attacks, God will use what they meant for evil for good. May the events of Sunday night be used to bring it about that many live… as new creations, born again – of the Spirit, called according to His purpose, children of God, and heirs together with Christ in the Kingdom of Heaven. So when it seems that all things do not work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, we know that we can trust He is accomplishing His glorious purposes. That is why when we delight in Him, we can rest in knowing that we will get the desires of our heart, his purposes being accomplished. I don’t understand it all, but I trust.

Sorry for the long sermon, haha. Night is weird. I can make myself freak out if I think about it, but I’m alright. I’m super sensitive to/perceptive of my surroundings and take much care. I find that I do not trust people that I do not know and am skeptical of all strangers (this may have little to do with the bomb and everything to do with the anomaly that is my complexion ☺). I am more easily frustrated with cultural differences… it will be good to be back in my zone, haha. Please pray for humility and selflessness again.

On a lighter note, my motel is called the BS Motel. Funny. I saw the Indian Ocean again as we were driving this morning… pretty sweet. Talk with yall soon.